Governor Noem is preparing to tour the state of South Dakota as smoky skies plague parts of the state.

“Research shows there is a definite correlation between legalized marijuana and smoky skies that soon follow. It’s really just science, and Governor Noem warned the whole state against this very situation. Health and safety is at the very top of the governor’s to-do list and with all this smoke and haze from marijuana, it creates strain on our healthcare providers,” said the statement from Noem’s Office.

Many businesses have closed early recently or have not opened for the day in the first place.

“Between the heat, rain, and marijuana haze, we haven’t been able to stay open for a full week for quite sometime now. I voted for legal marijuana, but I didn’t know THAT many smokers would cause us to have a thick haze set over the state. I’m really hoping this haze doesn’t affect the pot plants I started earlier this month, but luckily I’ve been off since my main business has had a ton of closed days,” said one business owner we spoke with.

Meteorologist are warning citizens not to be outside when the upcoming thunderstorms hit tonight and tomorrow, as weed rain could cause munchies and heavy sleep.

“When there is a thick haze of marijuana in the air and it starts to rain, the water droplets absorb the weed and if a citizen is outside when this happens, it could compromise their mental state and make them want Chick-fil-A or Taco John’s. Some citizens enjoy trapping the rainwater when this happens and using it as a substance called ‘CBD rainwater’ on their skin or to cook with,” said one meteorologist we spoke with.

Here’s to hoping the storms clear this shit out of the air.

The Sioux Falls Headliner
Adam K. White