A racist child is behind bars this evening after authorities caught him hiding in a nearby basement.

“We caught him out of his KKK uniform playing a game called Fortnite in his parent’s basement. This son-of-a-bitch was a tough find because he literally has no kind of trace-back to him. No phone, no public address listed, no driver’s license, etc. So we had to look at nearby home surveillance to see what his route was of terrorizing these poor citizens with his racism,” said a Sioux Falls Police Department representative.

The arrest comes as unrest plagues the country, but authorities are glad they caught the racist before the 2020 election.

“With the election tomorrow and an already tough year in 2020, we’re glad we could shine some light on the city by getting a racist thief off the streets. We couldn’t locate any of the candy this prick stole, but we’re still looking for it this evening. We’re very positive we’ll find it and return it to the terrified owners,” said the SFPD representative.

A HUGE thank you goes out to the Sioux Falls Police Department for continuing to kick ass!

The Sioux Falls Headliner
Adam K. White